Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Love and Loyalty

Today I hurt bad. As in really bad. I didn't take my Oxycontin as I am trying to wean myself off that. I didn't take the perco that I am supposed to take instead of the Oxycontin as it makes my stomach violently cramped/achy. It does help with the chest pain but doesn't make it go away. if I don't take it my chest hurts but my stomach aches but not as bad.

It's a double edge sword. I am not going to fall back on the Oyxcontin unless I have a really busy day. I tried taking Advil but it was not much help. Do I take the perco and have less chest pain and bad stomach pain? Do I not take the perco and have chest pain while letting the stomach heal? I chose not to take the perco since Thursday, hoping my stomach pain would go away.

Tess has been my healing Angel throughout the whole recovery process. She has done a great job taking care of me by nuzzling me awake in the middle of the night when I was in major pain and thrashing about. When I would cry out in pain, her face would be next to mine and licking my face. She has been my rock

The last couple of weeks I have been doing well so she has been slacking off the duties and letting Nan take over. This was before I changed my daily med routine. Last week, I dropped the daily Oxycontin and went on the Perco. That made my stomach hurt really bad. Maybe it wore the stomach lining or perhaps the lining was already wore out and the change aggravated it. Who knows? So I opted not to take the Perco, hoping the stomach would heal and that I could ride out the pain.

All I know that in addition to the chest pain, I had stomach pains. I started to sleep during the day as well as night, trying to heal. Sleep is a great healer.

As I said earlier, today was a bad day. I went out to the barn and helped a student for a bit and then back into the house and did some work for my boss. They had some documents that were due on my project and I spent time on the phone with them I also did the documents. All of this then wore me out and my chest and stomach went into *full hurting mode*

I ate a cup of applesauce hoping it would sooth my stomach but no such luck

Finally I gave up and went to take a nap.. The girls went with me. I was tossing a turning and hurting and barely able to sleep. Each time I would move, I would groan in pain

In my daze, when I turned over I felt a paw being put gently on my shoulder as if to hold me in place. A muzzle was then laid across my neck and gentle kisses were given to me. I stirred and she held me firm, as a bitch would hold down a wiggling pup. More kisses came and my pain began to ease, perhaps I was still and not thrashing about.

I dozed and then sometime during my nap I turned over to the other side, I awoke with Tess's head pressed against my head and her paw firm on my side holding me in place. I felt better. Her eyes were staring into mine and her tongue gave me more kisses. We shared a pillow during rest of the nap.

Finally she let me go and I awoke feeling much better and the stomach pain was lessened. My chest pain was eased also and in celebration, the girls got several homemade dog cookies.

Love and Loyalty is what it is all about.

Tess's head in on the pillow that we shared . I was next to her. You can see where her paw is on the bed. She was using it to hold me down/steady. My face was next to her. what a good girl!!

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