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From a sheep's point of view
by Diane Pagel - 2001
The JUDGE: Usually a person near the handler who will be
impressed by your antics. The more antics you do, the more he will mark it down
as points on the paper in his hand. The purpose is to have him or her mark down
lots of points for you. Jumping the fence or lying down and playing down are
worth many points. Hitting the panels will make you lose lots of points. Same
goes for the PEN. Things to get more points: chasing the dog off the field,
knocking the handler down at the pen, leaping into the set out or exhaust pen,
playing dead, running in many directions and not flocking, having the dog bite
you and Jump high when the dogs does this (this shows off your athletic
ability), or not moving at all.
The DOG: a nasty, little vermin who likes to sneak up on you and
make you do what he or she wants with the help of that annoying Handler.
However you can listen to that annoying Handler and figure out his/her next
moves. They let everyone know their plan of attack. after all, when an enemy
whistles what is going to happen next, what are the chances of them winning?
The Dog usually obeys these whistles so you can now use counter
measures to win. Sometime you can get extra points by leading and teasing the
dog until she/he bites. That will give the dog a DQ (See DQ for more info). You
can also refuse to move and chat among your other sheep friend about the State
of the Nation and cause the Dog and Handler to panic. Usually the Handler will
give more whistles and when they are completely frazzled you can make a break
for the SET OUT PEN. Never, obey the dog!
Doing this will eventually lead you into the PEN which contains the nine
headed space alien monster. Any sheep that lets a Dog move them here and there
deserve to die.
The SET OUT CREW: A bunch of people to be avoided at all cost.
Acts like you are cooperating then as soon as they stop moving, then bolt in 3
directions or back to the SET OUT PEN. When these people stop moving they can
not move for about 2 minutes so use this time wisely. A good time to head back
to the SET OUT PEN.
The DOWN WHISTLE: Means the dog is fast approaching you from
behind. It is like a warning from that dumb handler down yonder. Use this brief warning wisely and run faster.
COME BYE, AWAY TO ME: Other warnings from the handler to let you
know which direction the dog is approaching. This gives you time to re adjust
and flee.
The PEN: The area where a nine headed space alien is hiding. Any
sheep who enters this area is immediately eaten up - ALIVE and SLOWLY. Act like
you are going into it, and then burst out, like the fireworks at the Fourth of
July. If you can cause the PEN to collapse, you will get a large round of
applause from the audience.
The EXHAUST PEN: Safety, run as fast as you can and leap over
the fence into it. This is where you want to go after you have left the SET OUT
PEN. The Dog and Handler will do everything to prevent this. Try to get there
as fast as you can. Run over the Handler if necessary.
The SET OUT PEN: The other place of safety. As soon as you see
the dog approach, run back to this pen and leap in. This is where you came
from. This is a very safe place and at all costs you must either go back
here or the EXHAUST PEN. Anywhere else is danger. Act docile when they lead you
out, and then wait a bit and you can make a break for this. Timing is critical.
The PANELS: Avoid going thru these at all costs. Act like you
are going thru them and then at the last minute veer off. Any sheep caught
going thru these are just waiting to being getting set up for that nine headed
space alien in the pen.
Remember these panels are kin to the pen. It's like the plague
or acne.
FIRST, SECOND and
THIRD PLACE : These go for your sheep friends who
have not read the rules or are completely stupid. They have hardly any points
marked down on the Judges Score sheet. These sheep went in willing to the PEN
and thusly DESERVE to be eaten by the nine headed alien. Do not hang out with
these sheep at any other trials or you will get a reputation for being EASY!!!
DQ: When the judge calls
this you have just impressed the Judge to no ends. You have won and the Judge has told the
handler and dog that you beat them. It is a great honor to get this. DQ mean DARN QUICK, meaning you
are pretty darn quick in WINNING!! Sometimes you have to encourage the dog to
bite to get this. Teasing is acceptable.
RT: This means the Handler has acknowledged you are the MASTER
of the Universe and is throwing in the towel and you WIN. You get extra grain
for this. You just beat the enemy. You also showed the Judge that as well. RT
means Royal Thug. You are after all, the victor!!
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