Cat Laws

Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

 

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction - Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

 

Law of Random Comfort Seeking - A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

 

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

 
Law of Cat Embarrassment - A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
 
Law of Milk Consumption - A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

 
Law of Furniture Replacement - A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing - A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

 

Law of Cat Disinterest - A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection - Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

 

Law of Cat Composition - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.